People usually think of the holiday season as festive and joyful, but if you or someone you know has lost a loved one, this time may be lonely and painful. Even memories of happy events—traditional dishes you always prepare for holiday meals, favorite movies you watch, decorating you usually do together--can remind you of your loved one and bring sadness and longing. You may feel out of sorts and alone while everyone else seems to be celebrating. Bereavement can be a roller coaster of emotions at any time, but these feelings may be intensified during the holiday season.

Several experts on bereavement offer guidelines for those who are grieving, to help them make it through the holidays.

1. Make choices about what you can do and want to do. Be with the people you want to be with, when you can. It may be helpful to remember the loved one in a special way, rather than trying to forget your times together. For instance, you can light a candle, prepare a favorite dish, or create a special memorial decoration or ornament. This not only honors the person you have lost but can “bring a positive focus to our grief” (Doka, 2006, p.1). However, if traditions are too painful, find other ways to celebrate. For example, instead of decorating a tree indoors, put out seed ornaments for birds (Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 2002). If it is too difficult to be at home, take a trip. Although these changes won’t do away with your grief, they may lessen the pain.
2. Communicate with others about what you want and need to do. Talk with family members about how to mark the holidays. Let others know that you might not be able to do what you usually do, and change your plans if you need to. Tell others if you need a shoulder to cry on or time alone. Accept your feelings. Cry if you need to and let others know that they can express their feelings and memories too (Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 2002).
3. Reach out to others and get the support you need. Sharing your grief may ease the pain. Many people find a support group helpful, or talk to someone they can trust. Appreciate your family members who are there for you and need you, too (Tatelbaum, 2006).
4. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy food, get the rest you need, and exercise. All these health promotion strategies will not only help you feel better but will also help you cope with stress.
5. Help someone else. Volunteer to help people in need—at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, in a school, or through your place of worship. Ask someone who is alone to join you for a meal or activity.

If you have lost a loved one, the holidays may be difficult, perhaps the most painful period of your grieving. However, these days and nights will pass, and you can survive.

Written by: Suzanna Smith, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Human Development

References

Doka, K. J. (2006). Three Cs of coping with the holidays. Hospice Foundation of America. Retrieved December 20, 2006.

Harvard Women’s Health Watch. (2002). Grief takes no holiday. Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 10(4), 31-33 [online version]. Retrieved November 6, 2006.

Sammons, M. B. (2006). How to cope when a loved one is gone or ill during the holidays. CarePagesNews, November.

Tatelbaum, J. (2006). Survival strategies for the holidays. Hospice Foundation of America. Retrieved December 20, 2006.

Are the the blues during the holidays as much of a holiday tradition as pumpkin pie? Have you found yourself feeling like you are "faking the joy" this year? Is this your favorite time of year, just a bit stressful?

Use this holiday blues checklist to help you manage a healthy level of holiday stress.

Contributed by: Carolyn Wilken, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Extension Gerontology.

This article is a reprint of a National Diabetes Education fact sheet.

Winter is a season of holiday celebrations, football play-offs, and other occasions when family and friends get together over meals and snacks. For people with type 2 diabetes, it can be challenging to stick to a meal plan. Mouth-watering options such as honey-baked ham, buttery mashed potatoes, and sweet yams are popular for festive dinners, while chicken wings, cheesy nachos, and chips are among the favorites at football play-offs and other gatherings. However, you don’t have to completely sacrifice all of your favorite foods. The key is to make a variety of healthy food choices and limit portion sizes.

Follow these tips from the National Diabetes Education Program (NDEP) to help you eat healthy during gatherings throughout the winter season:

• Eat a healthy snack . Eating a healthy snack prior to leaving home can prevent overeating at the party.
  
• Plan ahead . Check out the party food options before you begin eating, and make a mental note of what and how much you will eat. Your food choices should fit into your meal plan.
• Bring a dish . Share your healthy dish with family and friends.
• Move away from the buffet . Fix your plate, and then step away from the table to avoid grazing while chatting.
  
• Savor the flavor . Eating slowly reduces your chances of overeating.
  
• Drink H 2 O . Water is a healthy, no-calorie beverage. Drink plenty of it.
  
• Trim it down . Eat smaller portions of food. Trim off extra skin and fat from meat.
  
• Party hard ! Focus on family, friends, and activities rather than food. Stay active by participating in games or dancing.
  

Follow these tips if your goal is to serve healthy feasts to your guests:

• Bake it . Broil it. Grill it. Consider healthy alternatives to traditional meats. Choose skinless meat or poultry and avoid fried dishes.
• Increase fiber . Serve whole grain breads, peas, and beans as part of your meals.
• Easy on the toppings . Lighten your recipes by using reduced-fat or fat-free mayonnaise, butter, sour cream, or salad dressing.
• Focus on fruits . Serve fresh or canned fruits instead of ice cream, cake, or pie. Transform high fat, high-calorie desserts by replacing whole milk or whipped cream with 1 percent or nonfat milk.
• Serve low-calorie beverages . Offer your guests sparkling water or diet beverages.
• We’re all in this together . Support your family and friends by encouraging them to eat healthy during the winter months and throughout the year.

To find out more information about the Control Your Diabetes. For Life. campaign and to order free materials and resources, visit them on the Web or contact the National Diabetes Education Program (NDEP) at 1-800-438-5383.

For information about diabetes education classes that may be available in your area, contact your local county Extension office.

Several IFAS publications related to diabetes may be found in the EDIS Diabetes publication list.

Submitted by: Linda Bobroff, Ph.D., RD, LD/N, Professor, Food and Nutrition

When shopping for Christmas gifts consumers usually compare prices to save money. Yet another equally important factor to consider is the product warranty.

A warranty is a promise by the manufacturer or seller to stand behind the product. It may be written, implied, or verbal.

The law gives consumers the right to read the written warranty before purchase, if the product cost is more than $15. The warranty must be easy to read and understand, with all terms and conditions spelled out.

Not all products have written warranties. If you buy a product "as is," that means the seller is not responsible for any problem or repairs.

There are two types of written warranties: full and limited.

Full Warranty

The full warranty will include the word FULL on the warranty. This means that a defective product will be repaired or replaced in a reasonable time after you complain. It also means that you will not have to do anything unreasonable to get this service, such as packing and shipping the product to some remote location for repairs. A full warranty is good for anyone who owns the product during the warranty period. That is, if you give the product s a gift or later sell the product, the unexpired portion of the warranty is transferred.

Check any full warranty to see exactly what is covered. The full warranty may cover only a part of the product. An example of this would be a full warranty on the picture tube of your new television. If the sound goes bad, in this example, you would pay for repairs.

Limited Warranty

Limited warranties differ from full warranties. Limited means something is missing. A limited warranty may cover parts but not labor. It may offer a prorated refund, not a full refund. It might be limited to the first purchaser only and the customer may be charged for returning the product to a service center for repairs.

Implied Warranties

Implied warranties are rights created by state law. The most common implied warranty is the warranty of merchantability. This means that the seller promises the product will do what it is designed to do, that is the toaster will make toast, a reclining chair will recline. The seller can usually get out of an implied warranty by stating in writing, that no warranty is provided. Beware of purchasing products, which have written statements of "no warranty given." Yet, implied warranties may give you some protection that written warranties don't.

Similar to implied warranties are spoken promises or advertising claims. These are considered to be warranties. You have a legal right to get what the company promises.

One of the last things to check when comparing warranties is the policy covering consequential damages. That is, if you buy a freezer, the freezer goes out and $500 in food spoils before something can be done about the freezer, will the warranty cover the repair only, or repair or replacement of the freezer and the food?

Once you have made your purchase, keep the warranty and the sales receipt in a safe place. You will need the receipt to show date of purchase and price paid for the product if you need to file a warranty claim.

For more information on warranties or the place to store warranties and other important papers contact your local county Extension office.

Have you ever searched the toy stores looking for the latest toys on your niece, nephew, grandchild, or child’s Santa list? If you are able to find the toy, a part is missing; it’s broken or must have batteries. According to the financial management specialist at the University of Florida’s IFAS Cooperative Extension, a better idea is to give a financial-related gift. A gift that teaches the importance of sound financial management can provide valuable lessons that will serve kids for years to come.

Experience is a great teacher when it comes to teaching children about savings and investing. For a school-age child or teenager, one or more shares of stock in a company that makes the “got-to-have” item the child wants can provide a meaningful gift and a valuable education. You can supplement the gift with a lesson on how to track the stock’s performance in the newspaper or on line.

Children can not purchase or own stocks in his or her own name but you can purchase the shares in your name or through a custodial account set up under the Uniform Transfers to Minor Act or Uniform Gift to Minor’s Act. The investment is held in the adult’s name in custody for the child until he or she reaches age the age of majority (18 in Florida).

It may be expensive to purchase less than a round lot (100 shares) in a company, but there are some companies that will sell you their stock directly, that is without a broker, thereby eliminating a brokerage fee. There are also Divide Reinvestment Plans (DRIPS) that permit current stockholders to purchase additional stock from the company without a broker. One Share of Stock, Inc. sells single shares of stock in certificate form that can be framed. There are more than 90 companies listed including companies such as Coca-Cola, Microsoft, Gap and other companies children may know.

Some companies offer mutual funds geared to children. These funds invest in child-friendly companies and send the young investor educational materials that teach them about investing. These plans typically accept lower minimum opening deposits and target long-term growth.

Of course, there are U.S. Savings Bonds. The Series EE Bonds remain one of the safest investments and there is never a fee for buying or redeeming them. Paper bonds may be purchased at half of their face value in denominations as low as $50 and federal income taxes on earnings may be deferred until the savings bond matures or is redeemed. These bonds may be purchased at your local financial institution or on line at the U.S. Savings Bonds website.

You can also find books, videos, and board or computer games that help children learn about savings and investments. Financial management software or a session with a financial planner is an excellent gift for grown or newly married children.

Written by: Dr. Jo Turner, Professor, Family and Consumer Economics

Even though mail order shopping has advantages, complaints about mail order shopping are common. Complaints include failure of companies to deliver, long delivery times, unsatisfactory merchandise, failure to make merchandise exchanges or refunds and failure to respond to consumer questions. The consumer has rights and responsibilities when ordering by mail.

Your Responsibilities

Before placing an order:

• Read the advertisement carefully. Is all needed information provided?
• Find and review the refund and exchange policy of the company. Do they say "Satisfaction Guaranteed," "Unconditional Guarantee" or "You may return an item for prompt refund if you are not completely satisfied?" It is important for you to know that merchandise can be exchanged or returned for a refund.
• Consider the purchase carefully. Do you need and want this item? Could you purchase the same or similar item locally?
• Find out if there is any type of buying plan involved before you decide to place the order. Are you committed to join some kind of buying club, such as a book, record, food, or cosmetic club?

If you have considered all of the above and decided to order by mail:

• Complete the order form according to directions.
• Recheck order form to ensure that you have correctly filled it in. Have you clearly identified merchandise ordered, correct size, color, etc?
• Double-check your address. Is it correct and readable?
• Make a copy of your completed order form and of the advertisement being answered.
• Make a note of the address to which the order is sent.
• Make payments by personal check, cashier's check, money order or credit card. Don't send cash.

Your Rights

You have certain rights when you order by mail. According to a Federal Trade Commission ruling on mail order:

• Merchandise must be shipped within 30 days of receipt of the order or within the time disclosed in the advertisement, or within 50 days if you are applying for credit. If the company cannot deliver merchandise within this period, the company must write you and tell you the expected delivery time and offer to refund your money if you don't want to wait until delivery can be made.
• If merchandise cannot be delivered within the new delivery time the order is automatically cancelled and your money refunded unless you notify the company in writing that you are willing to wait longer.
• If your cancelled order was charged to a credit card, the company has one billing cycle to make the adjustments to your account. If the order was paid with a check or money order, the company has only seven days in which to refund the money. You do not have to accept a refund in the form of "credit" to be used for other merchandise from the company.

Not all mail order purchases are covered by this ruling. Some mail order purchases that are not covered are magazines, seeds, plants, and photo finishing.

If you have not received your order within a reasonable time (over 30 days or the time specified in the advertisement), find out if your check has been cashed. If you don't have the cancelled check, contact the bank to find out if it has been paid. If it has not been paid you may want to place a stop payment on the check and cancel the order. To cancel, write the company telling them that since your check was not cashed the company did not accept the order and that you have stopped payment on your check and canceled the order.

If the check has been cashed, decide whether or not you want the merchandise sent or the money returned. Then write a letter to the company stating your request. If you do not receive the merchandise or a refund within a proper time, file a complaint with the Direct Marketing Association.

DMA Mail Order Action Line
1101 12^th Street North West
Washington, D.C. 20036

Or

Division of Consumer Services
Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services
407 S. Calhoun Street
Mayo Building
Tallahassee, FL 32399

Or you may file a complaint on line at www.800helpfla.com.

If the mail order problem appears to be fraudulent, contact a postal inspector directly or through your local postmaster. Provide the inspector with all related evidence including a copy of the order, all correspondence, advertisement and even envelopes.

For more information on your rights and responsibilities when ordering by mail contact your local county Extension office.

Dr. Jo Turner, Professor, Family and Consumer Economics

Tight budgets and limited free time can be a source of stress this holiday season. Finding enough money in your budget to make gift giving enjoyable can be a real challenge.

It is possible, however, to cut back on your gift budget and still be a generous gift giver. Remember the old saying "It's the thought that counts, not the price that's paid for the gift."

Don't wait until the last minute when stores are crowded to do your Christmas shopping, when everyone else seems to be shopping. Most department stores make about 25 percent of their annual sales between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Plan ahead, so that you have time to enjoy the traditional pleasures of the Christmas season. Some ideas to trim gift-giving expenses follow:

• Make a Christmas gift list with names, gift ideas and price estimates. Next total the amount you plan to spend. If this figure is more than you can afford, you will need to make some changes.
• List several alternatives for each name on your list, then look for sales in the price range you can afford. Most important -- stick with your plan.
• Check sales for gift items. See newspaper ads and store circulars for gifts you are considering. See which stores are running specials and shop where prices are lowest. Keep in mind that during November and December, prices are normally reduced on a number of items, including children's clothing, women's coats, shoes, slippers, men's clothing, resort and cruise wear, blankets, table linens, party goods, and appliances such as radios, toasters, stereos and televisions.
• Don't rush into a purchase because of an advertised claim of a low price. Know what the regular price is before buying an on-sale item. Often one store's sale price is another's regular price.
• Shop different types of stores to compare prices. Look at discount stores, catalog showrooms, factory outlets, as well as department stores.
• Be sure to keep receipts of credit purchases and total the expenditures at regular intervals to make sure you stay within the limits of your Christmas spending plan. Also check and keep receipts. If mistakes occur you will need the receipt to help in correcting errors.

If you do feel stressed, avoid last minute shopping. It leads to not only fatigue but also overspending and often making poor selections. For more information on managing on a budget contact your local county Extension office.

Dr. Jo Turner, Professor, Family and Consumer Economics

How do you celebrate the holidays in divorced family and step-family systems, as newlyweds, or with your in-laws? During this season people fear, dread, and make efforts to avoid some of those uncomfortable, stressful holiday visits.

Families attempt to negotiate and squelch many family issues that may arise during this hectic time. Many people will find themselves asking such questions as, “Who do I invite over this year?”, “Whose house do we go to?”, and “What is my role in all of this”? The following is a top 10 tips recipe for blended families, in order to have a more satisfying holiday experience.

3 cups		Creation of new traditions
1 ½ cup		Reconnection with some old traditions
6 Tbsp.		Division of time between families or alternating years
-OR- Substitute

6 Tbsp		Hosting your own holiday affair, and inviting everyone
7 lbs		Focusing on the children, not adult issues and concerns
2 tsp		Calling/emailing/including those who are absent
24 oz		Remembrance of the TRUE meaning behind the holidays
2 16oz cans		Realization that you cannot accommodate everyone
A pinch		Grin and bear it! Remembering it is only once/twice a year

Sprinkle the final product with Realistic expectations and Enjoy!

Written by: Eboni Baugh, Assistant Professor, Family Life

As many working American families are busier than ever, it is no wonder that many families are turning to food gift catalogs or Internet sites whether for perfect holiday treats or to mark a special occasion. While mail order operators have a good food safety record, the USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service (USDA/FSIS) offers food safety tips to help buyers and consumers determine if their perishable foods have been properly handled.

Be familiar with the temperature danger zone, which is between 40 and 140ºF; in this temperature range, dangerous bacteria can grow fast and can cause foods to be unsafe to eat. Invest in a food thermometer so that if you receive a perishable food you can check the temperature upon arrival.

When you order or receive a perishable food package make sure that the company sends perishable items such as meat or poultry cold or frozen and packed with cooling materials. The package should be well insulated. Make sure that the perishable food is shipped fast (ideally overnight) and that it has proper labeling. “If you receive a package labeled as “Keep Refrigerated” you should open it right away, and check the temperature of the product. Frozen foods should arrive frozen or partially frozen with ice crystals still visible.

If a perishable product arrives in your home warm, notify the company. Do not consume the food or even taste suspect food. Taking these precautions can help you and your family enjoy the gift of food.

Podcast: Food safety Tips for mail order perishable food

Written by: Amy Simonne
Reviewed by: Linda Bobroff

Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you’d like to learn more, please visit our website at familyalbumradio.org.

Sources

Mail Order Food Safety

Provided by the USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service

WASHINGTON, Nov. 14, 2006 - The U.S. Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service is providing consumers with key recommendations they can use to help reduce the risk of foodborne illness during the Thanksgiving holiday.

USDA's new nationwide food safety public education campaign, Be Food Safe, encourages people to put four easy to remember tips — Clean, Separate, Cook and Chill — into practice in order to be food safe during the holiday.

• Clean - Wash hands, surfaces and utensils often to avoid spreading bacteria when preparing food. Hand washing is one of the best ways to prevent the spread of foodborne illness.
• Separate - Use different cutting boards for raw meat, poultry, seafood, and veggies. When you prepare Thanksgiving dinner, keep the raw turkey away from vegetables and side dishes that won't be cooked.
• Cook - You can't tell it's done by how it looks! Use a food thermometer. Every part of the turkey should reach a minimum internal temperature of 165°F.
• Chill - Keep the fridge at 40°F degrees or below to keep bacteria from growing. Pumpkin pie should always be refrigerated and leftovers should be refrigerated within two hours.

"Thanksgiving dinner can be a challenging meal to prepare because it is complex and time-consuming," said USDA Under Secretary for Food Safety Dr. Richard Raymond. "When you factor in thawing the turkey, cooking the turkey, preparing side dishes and desserts — and the other duties that come with hosting a gathering with family and friends — it is easy to forget that food safety is the most important factor in determining whether the meal is an enjoyable one."

To help ensure that Thanksgiving meals are as safe as possible, USDA's is offering numerous food safety resources for consumers.

• Ask Karen - Consumers can obtain food safety information 24 hours a day though FSIS' virtual representative, "Ask Karen," at Ask_Karen.
• Meat and Poultry Hotline - Now in its 21st year, the Hotline is staffed Monday through Friday, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., Eastern Time, year-round. It will be available from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Eastern Time on Thanksgiving Day. Consumers are encouraged to contact the Hotline at 1-888-MPHotline or 1-888-674-6854. E-mail inquiries may be directed to MPHotline.fsis@usda.gov.
• Let's Talk Turkey - Every facet of getting a turkey from the store to the dinner table is included in this publication: buying fresh vs. frozen, safe thawing methods, stuffing, roasting, storing leftover turkey and reheating the leftovers.
• Turkey: Alternate Routes to the Table - This publication addresses ways to safely cook a turkey other than roasting it in the oven. Smoking, grilling, electric roaster-oven and other methods are addressed.