I grew up in a family where, as children, my siblings and I would NEVER consider approaching our parents to talk about certain topics. We never discussed money, and I couldn’t fathom having a conversation about sex with my parents. These issues were simply taboo.

However, researchers continue to reveal the importance of open communication between children and their parents, that is, IF parents want to impart their values on their children and attempt to influence the decisions they make as they mature. Positive communication and active listening are keys to keeping the channels open between parents and their children.

According to experts with the non-profit organization Advocates for Youth, research has shown “that youth with the least accurate information about sexuality and sexual risk behaviors may experiment more and at earlier ages compared to youth who have more information.” Teens also report that they want to discuss sex, relationships and sexual health with their parents. However, many parents aren’t very “askable.”

It’s common for adults feel that they may not have the right words or answers or they may be concerned that their children don’t think they’re “with it.” They might also fear giving too much or too little information and worry about when it’s appropriate to share that information.

However, being an askable parent will open the doors for closer relationships with your children and to family connections. It may take some adjusting and a little practice, but learning how to talk WITH your children, with confidence, can also help to protect them in the long haul.

Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you’d like to learn more, please visit our website at familyalbumradio.org.

Podcast: Are you an “askable” parent?
Written by Donna Z. Davis
Reviewed by Suzanna Smith

References:

Huberman, B. & Alford, S. (2005), “Are you an askable parent?” Advocates for Youth. Retrieved on November 19, 2006.

How do you celebrate the holidays in divorced family and step-family systems, as newlyweds, or with your in-laws? During this season people fear, dread, and make efforts to avoid some of those uncomfortable, stressful holiday visits.

Families attempt to negotiate and squelch many family issues that may arise during this hectic time. Many people will find themselves asking such questions as, “Who do I invite over this year?”, “Whose house do we go to?”, and “What is my role in all of this”? The following is a top 10 tips recipe for blended families, in order to have a more satisfying holiday experience.

3 cups		Creation of new traditions
1 ½ cup		Reconnection with some old traditions
6 Tbsp.		Division of time between families or alternating years
-OR- Substitute

6 Tbsp		Hosting your own holiday affair, and inviting everyone
7 lbs		Focusing on the children, not adult issues and concerns
2 tsp		Calling/emailing/including those who are absent
24 oz		Remembrance of the TRUE meaning behind the holidays
2 16oz cans		Realization that you cannot accommodate everyone
A pinch		Grin and bear it! Remembering it is only once/twice a year

Sprinkle the final product with Realistic expectations and Enjoy!

Written by: Eboni Baugh, Assistant Professor, Family Life