Most people agree with the idea that families have a responsibility to care for older family members. Yet, some changes in family life have brought up new questions about caring for the elderly. What happens when a parent divorces and then remarries later in life? Should adult children care for the stepparent as well as the parent? These questions are becoming more and more important as individuals live longer and growing numbers of older adults divorce and remarry.

Researchers from the University of Missouri sampled over 1000 men and women from across the U.S. to find out how adults viewed responsibilities to parents and stepparents. In telephone interviews, researchers presented stories describing a family dilemma and asked how much help the younger adult should give to the parent or stepparent. For example, the parent remarries after being a widower, and after a few years, dies very suddenly. Should his son help the stepmother with things around the house, even though they have never gotten along? What if the stepmother has more serious health problems, should the son help care for her? What if the older adult is a parent, should the son provide this care?

Results showed that adult children were expected to help parents more than stepparents, out of a sense of obligation and to repay parents for past help. Stepparents who came into families later in life “generally were not seen as family members,” and as a result, were not automatically entitled to caregiving aid. However, the quality of the relationship also influenced the duty to help, both parents and stepparents. When the relationship was good, respondents were more likely to think that help should be given. This research suggests stepparents of all ages have to earn family bonds by “building a history” and developing “positive emotional ties” with stepchildren.

Podcast: Caring for Stepparents in Later Life
Written by: Suzanna Smith
Reviewed by: Donna Davis

Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you’d like to learn more, please visit our website at familyalbumradio.org.

Reference

Gonong, L. & Coleman, M. (2006). Obligations to stepparents acquired in lager life: Relationship quality and acuity of needs. The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences 61, S80-S88.

Listen to the podcast: Stress from caregiving
Written by: Donna Davis

As caregiving for the elderly continues to increase in the future, almost everyone will either care for or know someone who’s caring for an elderly relative. Adult caregivers can find the task exhausting and overwhelming taking a toll on their physical and emotional health.

Experts say it’s important to remember to take care of yourself first. Eat nutritious meals and get enough sleep. Exercise often and get regular medical checkups. If you begin to experience symptoms of depression such as deep sadness, hopelessness or have trouble concentrating, speak to a doctor right away.

When possible, involve other family members in the caregiving process. Make a list of things that need to be done, including household chores, paying bills, shopping, home repairs and more. Also, ask friends and family to help by giving you a break to take time for yourself. Some communities have respite programs that give caregivers a few hours off to do things like shop, exercise and attend special events.

The quality of care you provide can only improve with the quality of care you provide for yourself!

Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you’d like to learn more, please visit our website at Familyalbumradio.org.

Resources

FCS2083/HE018 Guidelines for Caregivers Suzanna Smith and Jennifer E. Gove, EDIS publication

FCS5252/FY592 Elder Companion: Lesson 6 Stress Management Elizabeth B. Bolton, EDIS publication

caregiving, seniors, aging, stress, FAR

Listen to a Family Album Radio Podcast for more tips on caregiving.
Written by: Donna Davis
Reviewed by: Suzanna Smith

As the U.S. population continues to age, many families are starting to ask, “Who’s going to take care of mom… or dad?” Typically, caregiving continues to be provided by friends or family members assisting another adult who is disabled, ill or needs help in some way. This may be a neighbor who checks in on an older friend, a daughter who is living with an ailing parent, or a husband tending to his sick wife. Experts estimate that more than 22 million caregivers work full or part-time. Seven million of them care for someone who lives at least one hour away and the National Council on Aging predicts that number will more than double over the next 15 years.

This has created a circumstance similar to the childcare debate that occurs in many homes when working takes time away from caregiving. This creates stress on the caregiver who may worry that he or she is not giving enough time to the person they’re caring for. Likewise, caregiving takes time away from working and may affect job performance. As a result, many caregivers leave their jobs in order to take care of family members at home… a cause for concern for employers who will be addressing the impact of caregiving on employee leave and productivity… just one of many questions raised by this growing phenomenon.

Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family,
Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you’d like to learn more,
please visit our website at familyalbumradio.org.

Resources

Living Day to Day Administration on Aging

caregiving, aging, seniors, FAR

Listen to the podcast:
Effect of Hospitalization on Older Couples
Written by: Donna Davis
Reviewed by: Suzanna Smith

Very often the tale is told of an elderly couple for whom the loss of one spouse is more than what the other can bear—and the other partner dies relatively soon thereafter. Referred to as the bereavement effect, this phenomenon has been well studied and documented. Likewise, research has explored the weighty effect that a spouse’s illness has on the caregiving partner, also called caregiver burden. Studies have shown that declines in physical and mental health of a spouse are often linked to a decrease in their partner’s health.

While we might romanticize that these couples suffer or die from a “broken heart,” new research reported in The New England Journal of Medicine has revealed a number of factors that may have serious consequences for spouses who are widowed or caregiving. For example, researchers have discovered the type of illness can have a significant impact. Additionally, spousal illness or deathmay deprive a partner of emotional, economic, social and other practicalsupport. Lack of support and related stress can also adversely affect a surviving or caregiving spouse’s immune system, placing them at higher risk.

Finally, the widowed spouse may begin to exhibit harmful behaviors such as drinking, poor eating habits, or high-risk activities after the illness or loss of a loved one.

Better understanding the potential problems elderly couples face when one spouse becomes ill or hospitalized can help families, healthcare providers, and policy makers better prepare to help them.
Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM. If you’d like to learn more, please visit our website at familyalbumradio.org.

Source

Christakis, Nicholas A., Allison, Paul D. (2006) Mortality after the Hospitalization of a Spouse, The New England Journal of Medicine, Volume 354:719-730, February 16, 2006, Number 7

Listen to the podcast:
Caregiving: Legal Issues

When care for an elderly or sick relative begins, discussions on financial and legal topics can be uncomfortable for both the caregiver and their relative. As hard as this may be, UF researchers say talking about legal matters is important.

As a caregiver you should know the location of your relative’s important legal documents. This includes their birth certificate, social security card, insurance papers and property deeds. Are these kept at home or in a bank box? Where would your relative prefer them to be kept? If something should happen to your relative, will you have access to these items?

If your relative has a will, or other such documentation, find out where they keep it and who helped them to create it. You might want to meet with a lawyer to review what the will says and to make sure it is up to date. If your relative does not have a will, ask if they would like to create one and help them find a professional who can help them do so.

Also, discuss with your relative who will have power of attorney to make legal and medical decisions if something were to happen to them. If they have made this decision, speak with their lawyer to review the paperwork.

Asking your relative these simple questions now can prevent potentially catastrophic problems down the road. There are too many sad stories of families caught off guard and dealing with picking up the pieces at an already difficult time.

Resources

University of Florida/IFAS Extension Solutions for Your Life: Aging and Caregiving

wills, money, estate planning, caregiving, FAR

Listen to the podcast: Working and Caregiving
Written by: Patricia Bartlett

You’ve been at your job for eight years, and it looks like that promotion may come your way soon. But, you’re worried that your caregiving duties for your parents are taking more and more time.

You’re worried about how caregiving is affecting your performance at work.Last week you left work early twice and this week you came in late. But you can’t afford to leave your job. As you struggle to balance the demands of working and caring of your parents, you wonder if you’re the only one doing this.

Take heart. A study conducted by the American Association of Retired Persons or AARP reveals that nearly 22 million American workers are caregivers for their parents or other elderly family member.

Some workers find the demands of taking care of their loved ones and working at the same time too great and they give up their paying job. Others, fearing for their job security, are reluctant to tell their supervisors about their care giving responsibilities.

But, many employers are willing to help. They may be able to refer you to community programs for respite care, legal assistance or case management. A few employers offer financial help for adult day care, paid leave for caregiver activities, job sharing, or flex time. The family medical and leave act gives eligible workers unpaid leave for family care giving without loss of job security. You’ll need to check into any restrictions that apply to you such as the size of the company; and how long you’ve worked there. Don’t be afraid to ask… you may find the help you need for the balance you’re seeking.

Listening, learning and living together, it’s the science of life. “Family Album” is a co-production of University of Florida IFAS Extension, the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences and of WUFT-FM.If you’d like to learn more, please visit our website at familyalbumradio.org.

Resources

AARP Caregiving is a Second Job for Many
AARP Caregiving Research
Medline Plus Caregivers

eldercare, seniors, AARP, caregivers, FAR