Heidi Radunovich, Assistant Professor, Human Development

Although the winter holiday season should be a time of enjoyment, the events associated with the season are often the cause of stress.  Traveling during the winter season can be challenging: icy roads, traffic, crowded airports, flight delays, and unhappy children can leave us feeling tired and stressed.  There is pressure to spend more money than we can truly afford, spend more time on seasonal projects than we can afford, and attend more events than we really should.  If we choose not to overextend ourselves we may feel guilty, and berate ourselves for our inability to do more. There are gatherings with family, which might be more togetherness than we are accustomed to, and may entail many people coexisting in a small space.  To top this off, with so much going on there is little time left to take care of ourselves, and our physical and emotional resources may be depleted.  So what can you do to manage stress during the holidays?  Here are some suggestions:

1. Get organized.  Many of us are so busy with our daily lives that we often don’t feel as though we have the time to plan ahead for the holidays.  Although taking care of things ahead of time, such as shopping for gifts and completing holiday cards, reduces your workload as you near the holidays, many people don’t have that option.  However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t spend some time getting organized and planning as the holidays approach.  In fact, taking a small amount of time now for planning can mean a big savings in time, and stress, in the future.  Having lists of what to buy and from where can prevent multiple trips to the same store.   A good idea is to create lists of all of the things that need to be done and bought, and create a schedule for the coming weeks in which you break down what you will do and when.  This can help you see that you do have time to get everything done.  Another good idea is to set a budget for your Christmas shopping, and plan how much you can afford to spend for each person on your list.  If you keep your spending limited to what you can afford, you’ll feel much less stressed later on.      

2. Set realistic expectations.  Given the many pressures of the season, we sometimes expect too much from ourselves, others, and the holiday itself.  Rather than expecting your holiday to be “perfect,” focus on the real meaning of the season.  Don’t worry if gatherings aren’t perfect, travel snafus occur, or people don’t get along.  The ultimate goal is enjoy quality time with the people you care about, not to obtain perfection.  Remember that life is full of things that go wrong, and anticipating perfection can lead to disappointment.  Expect that things won’t be perfect, but focus on enjoying the positive moments as much as possible.  Finally, take time out to really think about which events you will attend (or host) and for how long, keeping in mind that sometimes less is more.  Trying to attend every party or spend every possible moment with family might not always be the best plan, and can leave you stressed and unhappy.

3. Take care of yourself. When we’re feeling stressed we’re much more likely to neglect our needs, but that is when we need to take care of ourselves the most!  Making sure that we eat healthy foods, get plenty of rest, exercise, and take time out for relaxing activities helps bolster us and renews our physical and emotional resources.  During the holidays it is tempting to eat too much (and the wrong kinds of foods), drink too much alcohol, skip the exercise, and stay up too late.  Although a little indulgence is okay, forgetting to take care of ourselves day after day leaves us physically and emotionally drained, and unable to handle the stressors that will come our way.  If you are up late one night because of a party or gift-wrapping session, make sure that you go to bed early the next night.  Try to increase your physical activity by going walking after meals, and takings stairs rather than elevators.  Even walking in the mall can be a great source of exercise!  If you enjoy trying all of the different goodies at a party, make sure to just try a little bit of each.  Then focus on the healthier foods, such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains and lean meats.  You may also want to ask yourself if you are truly hungry, or simply eating because the food is there.  Finally, try to take some time out for yourself, even if it’s only a few minutes while you’re lying in bed in the morning.  Hot baths or showers are relaxing, reading can be a great escape, and some people find meditation helpful.  Everyone is different, so you will need to figure out what sort of activity provides a good way for you to take a break and decompress.

4. Manage your thoughts. You can have a big impact on how stressful an event is just by the way you think about things.  People can experience the same event, but have different thoughts about it, which affects the way they feel.  For example, if someone trips you and you think, “Oh, it was an accident.  These things happen,” you probably won’t get very upset.  However, if you think, “He tripped me on purpose.  He’s trying to hurt me,” then you’ll probably get upset.  It can be hard to think of things differently once we are upset, but trying to take different perspectives can help.  For example, if a clerk at the airport is rude to you, rather than taking it personally, you could think to yourself that maybe this person is having a bad day.  Finally, comparing the difficulties we experience to worse experiences can give us a sense of gratitude.  For example, even though it’s annoying to get a flat tire when you’re getting ready to leave, it’s better than it happening while you’re on the road, or on the highway where it could cause an accident.  Remember that the better you’re able to manage your thoughts, the more you’ll enjoy yourself.

References

Cantor, D. (2006). Coping with holiday stress. APA Helpcenter from the American Psychological Association.  Retrieved October 26, 2007, from:
http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=8

Elkin, A. (1999). Stress management for dummies. New York: Wiley Publishing, Inc.

Morgenstern, J. (2004). Time management from the inside out (2nd ed.). New York: Henry Holt and Company.