People usually think of the holiday season as festive and joyful, but if you or someone you know has lost a loved one, this time may be lonely and painful. Even memories of happy events—traditional dishes you always prepare for holiday meals, favorite movies you watch, decorating you usually do together--can remind you of your loved one and bring sadness and longing. You may feel out of sorts and alone while everyone else seems to be celebrating. Bereavement can be a roller coaster of emotions at any time, but these feelings may be intensified during the holiday season.

Several experts on bereavement offer guidelines for those who are grieving, to help them make it through the holidays.

1. Make choices about what you can do and want to do. Be with the people you want to be with, when you can. It may be helpful to remember the loved one in a special way, rather than trying to forget your times together. For instance, you can light a candle, prepare a favorite dish, or create a special memorial decoration or ornament. This not only honors the person you have lost but can “bring a positive focus to our grief” (Doka, 2006, p.1). However, if traditions are too painful, find other ways to celebrate. For example, instead of decorating a tree indoors, put out seed ornaments for birds (Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 2002). If it is too difficult to be at home, take a trip. Although these changes won’t do away with your grief, they may lessen the pain.
2. Communicate with others about what you want and need to do. Talk with family members about how to mark the holidays. Let others know that you might not be able to do what you usually do, and change your plans if you need to. Tell others if you need a shoulder to cry on or time alone. Accept your feelings. Cry if you need to and let others know that they can express their feelings and memories too (Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 2002).
3. Reach out to others and get the support you need. Sharing your grief may ease the pain. Many people find a support group helpful, or talk to someone they can trust. Appreciate your family members who are there for you and need you, too (Tatelbaum, 2006).
4. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy food, get the rest you need, and exercise. All these health promotion strategies will not only help you feel better but will also help you cope with stress.
5. Help someone else. Volunteer to help people in need—at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, in a school, or through your place of worship. Ask someone who is alone to join you for a meal or activity.

If you have lost a loved one, the holidays may be difficult, perhaps the most painful period of your grieving. However, these days and nights will pass, and you can survive.

Written by: Suzanna Smith, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Human Development

References

Doka, K. J. (2006). Three Cs of coping with the holidays. Hospice Foundation of America. Retrieved December 20, 2006.

Harvard Women’s Health Watch. (2002). Grief takes no holiday. Harvard Women’s Health Watch, 10(4), 31-33 [online version]. Retrieved November 6, 2006.

Sammons, M. B. (2006). How to cope when a loved one is gone or ill during the holidays. CarePagesNews, November.

Tatelbaum, J. (2006). Survival strategies for the holidays. Hospice Foundation of America. Retrieved December 20, 2006.

Are the the blues during the holidays as much of a holiday tradition as pumpkin pie? Have you found yourself feeling like you are "faking the joy" this year? Is this your favorite time of year, just a bit stressful?

Use this holiday blues checklist to help you manage a healthy level of holiday stress.

Contributed by: Carolyn Wilken, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Extension Gerontology.

This article is a reprint of a National Diabetes Education fact sheet.

Winter is a season of holiday celebrations, football play-offs, and other occasions when family and friends get together over meals and snacks. For people with type 2 diabetes, it can be challenging to stick to a meal plan. Mouth-watering options such as honey-baked ham, buttery mashed potatoes, and sweet yams are popular for festive dinners, while chicken wings, cheesy nachos, and chips are among the favorites at football play-offs and other gatherings. However, you don’t have to completely sacrifice all of your favorite foods. The key is to make a variety of healthy food choices and limit portion sizes.

Follow these tips from the National Diabetes Education Program (NDEP) to help you eat healthy during gatherings throughout the winter season:

• Eat a healthy snack . Eating a healthy snack prior to leaving home can prevent overeating at the party.
  
• Plan ahead . Check out the party food options before you begin eating, and make a mental note of what and how much you will eat. Your food choices should fit into your meal plan.
• Bring a dish . Share your healthy dish with family and friends.
• Move away from the buffet . Fix your plate, and then step away from the table to avoid grazing while chatting.
  
• Savor the flavor . Eating slowly reduces your chances of overeating.
  
• Drink H 2 O . Water is a healthy, no-calorie beverage. Drink plenty of it.
  
• Trim it down . Eat smaller portions of food. Trim off extra skin and fat from meat.
  
• Party hard ! Focus on family, friends, and activities rather than food. Stay active by participating in games or dancing.
  

Follow these tips if your goal is to serve healthy feasts to your guests:

• Bake it . Broil it. Grill it. Consider healthy alternatives to traditional meats. Choose skinless meat or poultry and avoid fried dishes.
• Increase fiber . Serve whole grain breads, peas, and beans as part of your meals.
• Easy on the toppings . Lighten your recipes by using reduced-fat or fat-free mayonnaise, butter, sour cream, or salad dressing.
• Focus on fruits . Serve fresh or canned fruits instead of ice cream, cake, or pie. Transform high fat, high-calorie desserts by replacing whole milk or whipped cream with 1 percent or nonfat milk.
• Serve low-calorie beverages . Offer your guests sparkling water or diet beverages.
• We’re all in this together . Support your family and friends by encouraging them to eat healthy during the winter months and throughout the year.

To find out more information about the Control Your Diabetes. For Life. campaign and to order free materials and resources, visit them on the Web or contact the National Diabetes Education Program (NDEP) at 1-800-438-5383.

For information about diabetes education classes that may be available in your area, contact your local county Extension office.

Several IFAS publications related to diabetes may be found in the EDIS Diabetes publication list.

Submitted by: Linda Bobroff, Ph.D., RD, LD/N, Professor, Food and Nutrition